To The Silenced Songbird

Thinking back to childhood, I remember moments when I felt shoved aside. My younger brother was the new baby, and of course, he needed extra attention. But in the process, I was labeled dramatic, emotional, and in the way.
The message was clear: You just want attention. And somehow, that became a bad thing.

Can you relate to that?

Fast forward to my twenties– I was a youth pastor’s wife, pastoring all the girls in our youth group. One day after church, one of my girls came to me with real emotion about her problems. She was struggling. She needed to be heard. I did my best to comfort her, but I felt lost. Unsure how to help, I went to my leaders for wisdom.

“She just wants attention. Just ignore her,” was their solution.

So I did just that. I stopped answering her texts. I let her calls go to voicemail. I thought I was following wisdom… but deep down, I knew: This couldn’t be the answer.

Eventually, she stopped reaching out. Slowly, she drifted away from God.

Looking back, I realize—she didn’t want attention in a manipulative way. She wanted to be seen. Known. Loved. But somewhere deep in my belief system, I had judged that need as flawed. I was afraid of not having answers. So I abandoned her. I rejected her.
I projected a lie that I had believed for years onto this situation!
”Wanting attention is selfish, evil, and flawed.”

I recently watched the movie La La Land, and there’s a scene that stopped me in my tracks.
Mia, an aspiring actress played by Emma Stone, has just walked away from her dream. She poured her heart into a one-woman show—something vulnerable, something costly. But hardly anyone showed up. The seats were mostly empty.

After the performance, she slips backstage, hoping to breathe, to regroup. But instead, she overhears a passing comment from one of the few audience members: “She’s not even that good.”

Feeling defeated and exposed, she retreats home, convinced she’s not enough. Maybe she never was.

Then Sebastian, her love interest (played by Ryan Gosling), shows up with unexpected news: someone saw her performance and wants to cast her. But Mia’s response isn’t excitement—it’s heartbreak. She breaks down and says, “Maybe I’m not good enough.”

That scene hit me right between the eyes.

I saw myself in her—in the ache of putting something meaningful out into the world and feeling like no one saw it… or saw me. I remembered all the times I felt like an impostor, longing to be noticed, yet ashamed of that desire. Somehow, I’d learned that wanting attention made me selfish. That being seen was something I had to earn—or apologize for.

But is it really selfish to want attention?

Let’s look at what the Bible says.

“What is the value of your soul to God? Could your worth be defined by any amount of money? God doesn’t abandon or forget even the small sparrow he has made. How then could he forget or abandon you? What about the seemingly minor issues of your life? Do they matter to God? Of course they do! So you never need to worry, for you are more valuable to God than anything else in this world.”
Luke 12:6-7 TPT

Verse 7 in the ESV says, “Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

If God has a running count of the number of hairs on your head, I would say that “being seen” is a God-given need rather than an evil desire.
I would even go as far as to say that you were created to be seen and known.

But why does admitting that you want to be seen feel so vulnerable?

Here at the Transformation Center, we believe that God sees you and wants to heal your broken heart. God wants to give you the attention you need. He wants to nurture you with truth and expose the beliefs that have held you captive. 

Come encounter El Roi, the God who sees you, loves you, and knows you. Book a Sozo today!